Root, there it is!

As we gain years to this life we're living, there are habits and tendencies that we realize no longer feed who we are now compared to when we started doing, "a thing." There are times when we feel a tug between two different worlds: somewhere that we've survived in for many years and unchartered territory. But here's the hint: in order to step foot into this new realm, we must first get rid of old baggage. The question is, why are we trying so hard to stay grounded in a place that we've outgrown?

Well that was a lot to take in, so let's debunk all of the layers to this. So it's common sense to know that there are underlying reasons to why we do the things we do, say the things we say, or even avoid things that can be triggering at times. But I want to take an even deeper perspective on why it's so important to find the root of these issues and weed them out as soon as possible (in a healthy way of course).

Quote It Out!

“You may not be the reason why you were hurt, however, it is your responsibility to heal from it.”

We've seen unhealthy attitudes from our family members and think, "Dang, I really don't want to grow up being like ______," or, "There's no way I'm gonna be ______ for the rest of my life." And with acknowledging these unhealthy tendencies, we start the thought process of how not to be like so and so, to the point where we just choose not to act the same way as that person. The semi dangerous part of this is that we miss what our own short comings are and add more fuel to our own fire thinking we're doing ourselves justice when it's actually a disservice. We need to take the time to figure out who hurt us, when were we hurt, why we have chosen XYZ as our defense mechanism, and SLOWLY but surly peel back the layers (with grace!) to understand that we no longer need these actions or attitudes in where we want to go in life.

Transparent Example:

I'm assuming this is a judgement-free zone so here's the best example I have, which is myself, so follow along. Like many kids growing up, I got picked on because of my personality. I would be considered an easy target: I didn't have much backbone, I was quirky and played around a lot, but didn't really stand up for myself. Well now in my big age, I have found myself downplaying my capabilities because I would rather get to me before anyone else does. So assuming that someone's going belittle my craft, I, "humble myself," by saying it's barely amazing... instead of taking the compliment that's actually coming my way.

Quick Gem

The voices in your head aren't your own, they are unconstructive criticism from people who didn't know how to be there for you. The voice you need to listen to is the one who gives their friends outstanding compliments when they do something amazing. That voice is your own and you can trust that voice is telling you the truth because they love you.

I say all of this to say, I'm personally aware that I have created a habit of unruly negative self talk that has sheltered me from many possibilities in my life so far. But recognizing that I want to go further means I need to up root a ton of things that have been in the dark for so long, heck I've even forgotten about them! That doesn't mean those roots don't run deep, it just means I need to grab a pair of gloves, a set of sheers, and the power of 10,000 bulls and get to pulling! Try drawing out some areas in your life where you feel stagnant on your current pathways. Don't be afraid to backtrack to see where things were derailed and think about what needs to be let go in order to pick up where you left off. Looking inside and taking a moment to meet ourselves where we used to be helps us to mature mentally and emotionally. Mentally acknowledging how we've fallen short due to our own self destructive demise and taking accountability for our actions, but being tender enough to know that everyday is a learning experience. Emotional maturity is finding out that battering yourself for acting out isn't going to fix the issues, causing us to compact layers of additional issues that you'll need to unpack later on. Try taking a moment to hear your own cries for help and sort out how you can overcome these feeling in a new light.

You are loved!

Again as a disclaimer SLOWLY WITH GRACE!!! You're not perfect and that's not an expectation you should strive for, but you are allowed to want better for yourself with no excuses. I'm a major advocate for going to therapy because there are situations we can not handle on our own and guidance is necessary. You'd be surprise how overwhelmed you can get when facing what you thought was, "no longer an issue." Even then, you're still a beautiful person and you deserve to live your life as such. Don't be disappointed in the broken parts, even a mosaic shines through its broken pieces that are brought back together with love and compassion, so live as the work of art that you are. Take care of yourself daily, enjoy more, stress less, stay primmed & processed!